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just to make things right
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[12 Jul 2008|10:02am] |
why. just why can't I behave myself?
Vermont in 4 days!!!!!!
What a great entry this was.
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[03 Mar 2008|11:08am] |
This weekend was amazing!!! I had to help at the dressage show and they were like have you written for the judge before? I of course said no, and they were like great! now you can learn! So I scribed for the preliminary, novice, and elementary tests all day from 9-6 and I really enjoyed it. All of the judges were really nice and were able to point things out to me. So at the end of the day the show managers were really happy I went and kept raving about how brilliant I was with doing it for so long. I said I really enjoyed it and if they wanted I could come back the next day and do it some more. They were absolutely ecstatic.
So I got to scribe for the novice musical freestyle from 10-3 and then I had nothing to do so I asked if Phillip had anything else for me to do and he told me to come back at 6 for the PSG Musical Freestyle class!!! So 6 rolls around and Phillip goes "Oh, you were supposed to judge for so-and-so but now you are judging for Tricia" All the girls behind the desk go "Ohhh no... bring a bat!!" and Phillip said "Stand your ground with her!". At that point I'm like what the fuck is she going to eat me?
So I go down to the judges table at C and meet Tricia - she's an older lady and was kind of bitchy at the beginning. But I just kept being myself and smiley and after one of the horses went she asked me how I liked the school and how much longer I had. I said that I really didn't know if I would be continuing here, because it is not as practical as I wanted especially as I wanted to ride professionally. She was like "oh, thats a shame... actually if you are looking for a job I have a friend who needs some one to ride all of her young horses. She's in Scotland and primarily dressage, but likes her horses to jump as well. She has a huge yard with an American barn and huge indoor and outdoor school." At that point the last horse came in and we returned to work.
At the end of the class she told me that this lady would probably have me compete in all of the 4 year old classes in jumping, dressage, and maybe eventing.. and she will be a mile away from campus on for the day on Friday! So she gave me her number and I'm setting up an interview!!!
I googled Tricia and she has written several books regarding dressage training and competed in the Olympics in the 70s or 80s. I googled her friend and she recently won the PSG Freestyle at the Scottish Finals.
This is the most amazing opportunity ever. My parents were like holy shit! We will send you there in a heart beat!!
Obviously nothing is certain yet, but it is really exciting. :)
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[19 Feb 2008|01:15pm] |
Blahhhh. life has been sucky. I'm really not sure what I want to do now. I mean, I have my semi-long term goals set in stone - do the AO Jumpers in the next couple of years and shoot for GP by the time I'm 27. But I dont know what I want now. I love it here at Hartpury - I love the facilities and the classes are good. But I feel like I'm going to go home and my riding is going to be shit. My riding is my life, I want to make it by my riding. I only ride twice a week and it is a new horse every week. Next year I think I will only be able to ride 1-2 times a week max :( I really want to excel, but apparently it is really, really hard to get your BHS stages if you don't have a horse to practice with several times a week. And the BHS stages are the main reason I'm in England. Mom was all for getting a horse next year.. then I did the math and it's $600 for DIY livery.. without hay and bedding. It will probably be around $800-$1000 a month for board! And I wouldn't mind getting a project, but I couldn't make money with expenses like that. But then I could live off campus and get much cheaper board (think $400-$500 a month). But then I would need a car. And insurance is over $3000 per year if you are under 21.
Not to mention I have been suffering from crazy moods and depression and just really need to go to see a counselor. I was so miserable from not riding first semester I couldn't get motivated to go to class and did a shit job on most of my exams (but did well on the hardest - go figure). So now I have loads of work to do for this semester. I really have to be careful with alcohol now, too - we aren't working out too well.
I've also had two people I knew die this year and my cousin has a pretty malignant cancer that has already metastasized to his lymph nodes.
At this point everything has built up so much, I have to wonder if it would be better for my well being to transfer to Centenary and board a project horse nearby for under $500 and make some money. I would have a car and riding every day would do me wonders. I could fly down to Florida for a weekend and get my BHS stages there. I could compete a lot, and have weekend work. But it isn't England.
Ughhh I hate making decisions.
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[25 Nov 2007|04:31am] |
hm... so its 4:30 am... and i am wide awake and a little drunk so this will be funny.
Soooo there's this guy, Andrew. I've told him I like him, but before we do any more than what we have, i want to talk about it while we are both sober. So tonight he finally sat down and said that he doesn't have the balls to tell me when he's sober. I mean. what the fuck?? I've told him I like him... but apparently he thinks that if given the option I would choose a wealthier and hotter guy. Bleh. boys.
anywhoo im tired, bed sounds nice.
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[03 Nov 2007|04:43pm] |
holy crap. i am not going to be able to get out of bed tomorrow. but i guess thats my fault.
Yesterday I went running, probably did about 2 miles, my legs were soooo dead. Of course I choose to do some sort of physical activity for the first time in over a month the day before my first riding lesson.
I woke up today, hardly able to walk, but whatever.
So I rode this school horse named Blue... kind of a sweet old guy - looks like a welsh cobish type horse... about 15 hands. You could kind of tell he's who they put the riders who say they can ride on. First half of the lesson he was sooooo stiff and lazy. i mean seriously - i was dying and he's wider than any horse I've ridden in awhile. But then I got him soo nice and soft at the trot it felt amazing, then we had some amazing lengthenings and Emily said she was very impressed that this was how I rode after a month and a half off. It was a really, really good lesson. And I was told I should show him :) because thats how good he looked.
im happy :)
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[18 Oct 2007|11:31am] |
anddddd here it goes again....
a boy.
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[21 Sep 2007|05:26pm] |
wow. so i am in england. YAY haha. very happy. i really thought like while i was unpacking I would get upset or have an empty feeling or even be excited. i felt nothing. absolutely nothing. it was wierd. i guess im content or something.
ive pretty much slept the whole time and havent gotten a chance to meet any one haha, but i do see some cute boys wandering around.
oh and the US dollars blows.
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[12 Aug 2007|04:35pm] |
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Meh, so life is crazy right now. Just ridiculous. and I havent posted in a while. So I've got a boyfriend-kinda-thing going on, go figure a month before I leave hah.
And a couple weeks ago I didnt have any horses to ride. and all of a sudden I have 5!! What the fuck? haha.
I have Kas - a dutch warmblood who does second level dressage and can jump 3'9" who I will be showing to customers and taking to school XC at oxbow.
I have Magic - a 5 year old TB who is greener than grass who I am training and will be taking her to her first show hopefully (hunters - ick). She's really sweet and willing to learn and there is such an improvement in less than 10 rides - makes me very happy :)
Butterfly - Magic's dam, just temporarily riding her while her rider is injured, has the worst legs EVER because of old injuries but did 3rd level dressage at some point.
Then I have another TB mare who is my mom's friend's horse.. i just cant seem to remember her name. She's similar to Magic, but bigger and has an old bowed tendon. She's 6 and really green too.
And today I got a call from Randy who's friend is having a problem with his daughter's horse - it's started being really barn sour and rears and spins toward the barn, so tomorrow I'll be going up to evaluate the horse and if I think I can fix it, I'll get $30 / hour either training the horse or teaching his daughter. Oh, its a barrel racer. should be interesting.
And then I am working compulsively. Like 12 hour days. Mad money, and im not tired.... yet.
I like how I have a real life right before I leave.
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[21 Jun 2007|01:28pm] |
apparently im a fucking amazing rider. go figure.
*pats self on back*
Now to find more horses to ride...
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[17 May 2007|08:07pm] |
So i had my lesson with Bruce and he was really, really impressed with the fact that I was able to make up for what cochise lacks. We did leg yields along the rail and started pirouettes. It was a really good lesson, and all he kept saying was that I was going to be amazing. Definitely made my week. he also told me if I have time while im in Florida to stop by and ride some horses. After my lesson I hacked out on the XC course and jumped the big stairs and a big coop. Cochise was really good because he's starting to round up his back and jump better.
But I've decided something in his back makes him uncomfortable jumping... he's really good at 2'3" and smaller... but any bigger and he either wont jump or freak out. But he's back to jumping in a loose ring snaffle and is really calm.. he just needs a home that wont make him do the big jumps any more.
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[28 Apr 2007|06:36pm] |
I hate coming to startling realizations.
I will not leave a letter nothing at all
I'm sure you won't notice that I'm even gone
What could you possibly want from me
Can't you see I'm already gone
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[18 Apr 2007|02:14pm] |
Yeaaa.. im almost looking normal... still a little yellow under my eyes and purple eye lids. haha - natural eye shadow. The splint is off my nose, but my uvula (the thing that hangs at the back of your mouth) still hurts and now im getting referred pain to my ears. Which really sucks meaning im still limited in what I eat. Lets just say... i weighed a touch under 104 before surgery. Today i weighed 97. pretty damn sad. But im thinking it'll be like that til i start working and riding again.. because its probably all muscle thats disappearing. Oh well, in a very sick way it feels good to weigh that much, but its way to much to ever put myself through. All though I did eat almost a gallon of ice cream in the past two days... so maybe it's just that im not exercising or working my muscles? whatever.
Terry called me and said that Bruce wanted to know if I wanted a lesson when he comes up in may. Definitely surprised me, but Bruce likes Cochise so I figured maybe if he still does, he'll buy him :) so i'll be at oxbow on the 13th.
Going back to school tomorrow, can't wait to see the ridiculous amount of work i have to do for physics. I dont really care about marketing and english - no finals there.
only like 40 days of school left.
and then 154 days til i leave for england :)
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[14 Apr 2007|02:59pm] |
alright, so im starting to resemble a normal human being... splint is still on my nose and my black and blue eyes are now in that awkward yellowish phase, but my eyes dont look swollen shut. Unfortunately i guess intubation doesnt really suit me and i cant talk because from my tongue to my tonsils is sooo swollen and my palate and throat are slightly scratched or rubbed i guess.
I havent eaten anything but jello since monday night. i tried ice cream but it hurts wayyy too much to swallow it. even cranberry juice hurts to drink. so its water and jello - not filling but just enough for me not to be literally starving. and then they go and put all these damn food commercials on tv. im so hungry i can taste the food they are showing. kitkat blizzards, bistro flatbread, white castle. even stuff i dont like sounds like it would taste so good right now. maybe after this ill be less picky. my ears hurt when i eat too. why does pain suck so much?
once the splint and bandaging is off my nose i am allowed to breath through my nose which in turn will let my mouth and throat heal. Too bad i have to wait until monday.
So basically i am sitting in bed. wasting. away. to. nothing.
i have never felt so useless.
just took a perk and 2 tylenol extreme because the pain was too much. hope that isnt bad lol.
I've slept an average of 4 hours a night because my throat hurts so much it eventually hurts to breath. thank god i got this done while im still at home.
moral of my story. if you dont have to get a rhinoplasty or septum fixed dont unless you have extremely high pain tolerance and dont want to eat anything substantial for a week.
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[29 Mar 2007|07:39pm] |
Hm. so this has been an interesting year. Cochise is for sale, but im not really sure what to market him as, he jumps ok - just not inside, but then he has nice dressage and is starting to learn flying changes. It's a bit irritating though, because he's a different horse every day i ride. It's like he's bipolar. It feels like he's my job and thats annoying. But whatever, I told Megan to ask Liz if she would like me to school some horses on the flat because i probably wouldn't be charged a ring fee, so hopefully that will get me more experience. But I don't think it really matters because im getting my nose all fixed in 12 DAYS!!!! So I hopefully won't be riding for most of april, cause I don't want it getting fucked up lol.
Anyways I've grown im now like an inch over my mom as opposed to a month ago when we were the same height. Maybe I'll luck out and top out at almost 5'5". Gotta cross my fingers there.
There's only 50 days of school left, I am so happy. That means 5 days of gym and then Im done with it forever and ever. I can handle all my classes just gym is the biggest bitch in the world. Between pulling muscles and getting hit with volleyballs, im done. I can't wait to go to college. No gym, my own room, rugby players, soccer players, horses, no math, no english, no gym. Did I say no gym? I get a fresh start at college and get to drop my good girl, honors, prude image and be someone everyone can find fun. It'll be nice. I'm not going to go crazy, ill just get the chance to be myself and have fun and not shock anyone. I won't be quiet any more. Although I guess I've kind of abandoned that image this year. Everyone finds me pretty chill, nice change from when i was made fun of from reading books in 8th grade lol. Or maybe everyone finally got some maturity.
Im having major money spending issues. I've been having a compulsive urge to go to the commons and buy coach stuff and then go to aldo and buy shoes. And then maybe swing by pac sun for shirts. Then i want to go to rockaway to urban behavior. Ugh. Shopping will be the death of me. I think im going to go sometime after my surgery. Maybe ill grab some friends i havent seen in awhile just so i see them before i leave. That'd be nice. Im leaving September 19.
Surgery in 12 days
Florida after graduation
Work my ass off and have a real social life over the summer
College September 19.
Ill be back for part of winter break, but who wants to come home to snow?
how many special people change
how many lives are living strange
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[04 Feb 2007|04:31pm] |
so cochise is a mother fucking ass hole. i am very upset with him and my family. life has generall sucked... i dont know what happened. all of a sudden everything turned on me...
cochise went from really good to really bad for no apparent reason
i got my driving privleges revoked twice
i had a car accident
i got a C in gym
i dont care about school
scholarship is virtually impossible to get now
parents are being assholes
hnighhgioatlstigt
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[20 Oct 2006|12:51pm] |
Sooo cochise got cast in his stall early this morning and got his foot caught in the bars by his window. I have no clue how he did it because the windows are at the height of his withers. They had to pry him out because the bars didnt bend at all. He wouldnt put any weight on that leg but after a little bit he could walk on it. The vet took X rays and is going to call me tonight with the results.
Im pretty fucking upset. Seeing as how his other leg just got better and we were going to show at Oxbow this weekend. I called and scratched. :(
Im really fucking upset
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[10 Sep 2006|06:45pm] |
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ummm soo some pictures from coppergate//
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[11 Aug 2006|08:03pm] |
WHOOT!!!!
PONY JUMPER CHAMPION AT THE NJ STATE FAIR!!!!
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[14 Jul 2006|02:46pm] |
So this week was Pony Club camp. and we had this lady come from PA to teach us. sooo it was really interesting, she was an eventer/dressage person and i was all thinking she'd be a crazy person and think that we all sucked at riding. but actually she was really fun. We were in the back of borderland... so if anyone passed by at all and noticed a huge red and white tent. yea i was there. So anyway on the first day we did a quadrille test and i had tossed cochise in the snaffle so my brakes are still available in the show on monday. and he was really good. as soon as i remembered to keep my hand still and ride him a little german style deep he was amazing. i was like shit. i wish i had known this before giving up dressage lol. he came up through his back and stayed really round. i was happy.
then on tuesday (day 2) my first lesson was hill jumping. and i wanted to kill myself jumping downhill. im not going to make excuses there. i suck at going downhill over fences. but then we did river jumping where we would jump a fence out of or in to water that was about 3 and a half feet deep. cochise had so much fun jumping in we would gallop through the water and then stop at the other side. Sooo then we had a lesson in the afternoon and it was pacing like figuring how fast we were going like we did from 300 meters per minute to about 625 meters per minute. it was crazy fun
then on wednesday (day 3) we had a morning lesson but no afternoon lesson because of the fucking weather. but we did barrels and walk jumping. we started with five barrels and once we all cleared them each way a barrel would be taken away. i am happy to say that cochise was the only one to jump a single barrel without wings on the first time. Then the walk jump - that was basically it. you would walk to a jump and then jump over it. we walked 3 ft and had to stop there because of shitty footing.
Wednesday night we had to evacute becuase the river might have over flown. so the horses stayed up at borderland and we spent the night at different houses. I stayed at olivia's house with katie,mckhali, francesca, and olivia. and this kid Ricky (a frosh) was hanging out with her brother and spending the night and he was like im going to come down in the middle of the night and lie on you guys. so we're like uhhh whatever. but he came down around 12:30 appartantly while we were all sleeping and he was apparantly lying on top of me for 15 minutes before i woke up (but i dont remember any of this) and when he noticed my eyes opening a little he goes. "This isnt where i parked my car!". and what do i say "uh no" and then i went back to sleep./ haha it was interesting.
then thursday my last lesson was another quadrille test but then later bonnie and i got to take our horses swimming because we had to leave that night. so we get to this spot in the river where it gets crazy deep. cochise was so excited and he was straight up swimming and the water was almost to my neck. it was funny cause the 2nd time his butt started to sink and he like had to frantically kick to get it up. but it was really interesting.
so now im home and we have a show on Monday. pony jumpers level 2! :)
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[20 Jun 2006|10:00am] |
um...
so on saturday I kicked ass in my show. I got reserve champion in my Level 1 division (which is 2'9" to 3') and 2 thirds and a 2nd. which is pretty damn good considering the horse that got champion (and won every class) was like a big ass warmblood who has a huge stride.
And then a friend of my trainer's was talking to my dad and asked if i would try to qualify for pony jumper nationals with Pony Club. It's basically a Junior Olympic event. which means if i qualify i'll probably get a full ride scholarship to Hartpury. which would be really nice. So we'll be trying to get up to the pony division for the Vermont Classic and try to get his stride bigger so we can be faster without running. But we're mad consistent now.
oh! i get to go to the mall today i think. what a concept.
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